status quo

Writing these lines under the influence of Rolf Dieter Brinkmann's anger of the seventies, American Hardcorepunk frustration and fury of the eighties and a pretty good show yesterday nite. The conclusion of this all, is my own social situation: the times have certainly changed since the seventies and the eighties (even since the nineties!), but some things still remained the same: a certain dooming mood, stupidity and emptiness , maybe the things that keeps the whole shit-factory rolling and a certain disillusionement, that keeps coming and going, but also stays for a while... In my own sitiuation, the future looks bright ahead like a dying sun;)...I won't have the chance to get out of Hartz VI, even if I finish my appretienceship...which I have to, otherwise they cut me the money and I have to pay a 2000€ fine (which I can't, they should know it better...) . The shop is having a bad time, because of a fucking construction site in the whole street.That's the ironic part, the city, who gives me "the chance to reintegrate" (like if I'm some kind of ex-con or something) is killing my job...
But even if the shop will make it, they won't take me, because there's still not enough money left, to pay me a full job...So, in a week I'll attend Bookseller's school for the first time and I know that in half a year I'll go there for the second time and then there's already the exam, but I know already that it doesn't get me out of my social situation. I even can't move away from here, without any perspective or money...Well, I even don't have the money to goi out, so I'm relying to my friends to let me see their shows, giving me free drinks and so on...without that network of people around me, I would lead a totally low-life (I even wouldn't have a computer...).Well, that's just the hard facts, nothing to complain about, eh?;)
And all this in a country, where senile old fuckers like Oettinger make old nazis like Filbinger to posthume antifascist resistancefighters and the whole world is taking a big leap back into the middleages, with all this religious shit...can't wait to smell the burnt flesh from the autodafes...I mean what's wrong? Fighting religious fanatics with religious fanatism? this whole thing is a big antimodern backlash by conservative and reactionary forces, which are rooted more and more deeply in our "western civilisation"...In fact these are the roots of it and some people wanna go the way back...BUT WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!