folsom prison

Feeling lost, lonely, captured...depressive...school sucks! (whatelse?)
I don't know, why I'm sooooo down...Everything is sucking...although noone really treats me bad or something...it's just a feeling...sometimes I just wanna sit down and cry...thought that shit is over (maybe I'm deep inside still a fucking emo). I love my baby and my baby loves me, so whatthefuck?...I should be happy...but it has nothing to do with it...I can't explain this deep feeling of being down and out, so that you wanna cry and also this longing for people that I hold so dear and are so far away...On the other hand I'm unable to communicate...It's something from before, from my past, a mechanism that tells me:no you can't bother other poeple, if you are feeling irrationally down like this, cause you obviously have no real problems...the other people are always in big shit...that's not good...can't help 'em and this makes the situation even worse...vicious circle...
Fact is, that I'm feeling lonely and sad and that I'm fed up with school and everything around this and this whole country sucks and I don't wanna go through this every fucking day...maybe I just need some vacations!...but I don't know if it helps against this empty feeling inside...I JUST WANT MORE OF THIS FUCKING SHORT TIME OF MY LIFE!!! forever teenage crisis...maybe I just haven't managed them since...